So after a few failed relationships with the wrong people. Then again, it could be me, who knows (after all, I’ve never connected with anyone like the last person I did). I figured I’d come up with an impossible dating profile.
My Sign: Libra
My Chinese Zodiac: Tiger
My Personality Type: Ambivert, with more on the Introvert Side
Primary Interests: Exploring abandoned places, seeing cool things, paintball, driving fast, hiking, go karts, video games, movies.
Disinterests: Sports, Parties, The Gym, Dancing
What I’m looking for:
- Someone ready for a relationship.
- Someone who’s got a similar schedule to mine. 9 to 5.
- Someone who likes lots of time together.
- Points if you like video games. More points if you’re good at them.
- Someone who doesn’t want kids and doesn’t have kids.
- Someone ambitious who likes adventure
- Someone low maintainence
- Someone who has high self esteem with minimal baggage
- Someone who’s caring
- Preferably someone who makes more than me (50k)+
- Someone understanding and passionate
- Someone who doesn’t have a need for a lot of friends or large social circle
- Someone with minimal male friends, best friends should be female
- Someone into movies
About Me – Love Profile:
When I like someone. I fall fast. Just like my car I have a go and a stop. I don’t really know an in between. I’m instantly vulnerable with no safeguards. There’s no getting around that fact. I’m brutally honest and my loyalty knows no bounds. The idea of taking anything slow to me doesn’t really compute. If I love or like someone. I want to see them all the time. I’ll miss them when I’m not around them. I don’t get tired of being around someone I love. I don’t need much personal space if any. I will always give the person I’m dating top priority, same level as family. I also won’t run away when times get tough. I will do whatever it takes to make my partner comfortable and to be around them. I will usually trust until I’m given a reason not to. And I’ll communicate any concerns I have.
I don’t get hints, I don’t like games and I’ll be straightforward as much as possible.
I do what I say and I keep my plans.
I’m more about the destination than the journey when it comes to love, I don’t like the chase.
All I know is how to be myself.
If I really do like someone. I’ll be more open to things I would normally not be open to, such as sports. Why? Because I see my partner enjoys it and I get enjoyment out of seeing my partner happy and being around them.
You know that moment when everything seems like it’s going great, and then the girl stalks your Facebook, then overthinks and overreacts by jumping ship because she’s got feelings? Or dating someone who jumps into a relationship without being ready and without thinking about it? Yea. I know that feeling too. Though I digress.
So all this comes from a girl I just dated for a short time. We hit it off immediattely. A lot in common, great conversations, great sex, we had a lot of fun together. We spent almost a full 2.5 weeks together. Then the problem weekend arrived. I get a text on Friday saying we should take it slow. Then Sunday I get a text saying we should just be friends. Now without going into every little detail, she wanted more romance/courting and more little nice gestures. Which personally I see as skewed and ignorant to an extent. For a few reasons. Everyone has a different idea of romance and courting for one. And I can’t fucking read minds. It was also never discussed. The other thing that’s retarded about that. She had her kid every evening M-F, so the main times we could do anything were weekends. First and Second weekend we had dates. Third weekend, I had plans from months ago and I even invited her. Sure, she brought me over food 2 times, and took me to a baseball game (which btw, I hate baseball. My nice gesture was going with, point and case, some people don’t realize a nice gesture). I brought her food once, bought her tickets on the second date, bought her food a couple times and invited her to go to theater in the near future. In either case, it becomes too much of a comparison and too much of an expectation. I’ll give you the world, being my time and my priority. My personality isn’t to give you random THINGS. It’s to give you my love. Funny thing about it too, she would complain about having shitty friends who just get drunk, act immature and don’t commit. Then has the balls to say she doesn’t feel special and just feels like friends when I am the one to give priority and a positive influence.
OMG. He’s got aspects of an ex, I’ve gotta run away. OMG. I have feelings. RUN! I need to focus on myself. I need to focus on my daughter. You don’t give me xyz. All bullshit. All excuses. If you like being around someone for any reason, be around them. Oh, and as long as I’m on that subject of ranting. Guy friends. You’re naive if you think they aren’t just keeping you around as an option. MOST guys will keep hot girls around as options. So if you’re a good looking girl who’s got a lot of guy friends. Don’t expect any guy worthwhile to be comfortable with that. While we may be confident with ourselves and you, we know guys.
Bottom line. If you like someone, don’t run away. SIT DOWN and DISCUSS expectations. Most good guys aren’t gonna become your friend right away after a relationship. It’s going to take healing time.
Me for example.
- I’m opinionated
- Open minded with some things
- Closed minded with others
- In aspects, I’m stuck in my comfort zones
- I won’t do things I don’t enjoy unless I have to
- Politically speaking, I’m totalitarian, though that’s another post.
- I have no filter
- I’m definitely not PC.
- I hate when I’m not in control
- I hate liberals who complain about shit that doesn’t ACTUALLY matter. Like this whole stupid transgender issue, seriously shut the fuck up.
- I’m pro gun, gun free zones shouldn’t exist. They prevent Tyranny among other crimes.
- I don’t like speed limits or stupid laws.
- I’ll laugh at stuff I shouldn’t laugh at. My sense of humor is so dark, it picks cotton.
- I’m not racist, but will certainly laugh at it.
- However above this all, I’m loving, caring and old fashioned when it comes to dating.
Point is, I’m awesome, fuck the rest of you. Love #Deadpool.